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Ryan

Member
  • Content count

    43
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Ryan

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday September 21

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    PA

Previous Fields

  • Occupation
    Engineer
  1. Ryan

    Genesis

    I don't think eMusic has the Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. So, Selling England By the Pound would be a good choice, or maybe Foxtrot.
  2. Ryan

    Unnofficial best of the decade.

    Count me as another list enjoyer! Although I do tend to view them as paths to discovery instead of certain proclamations on what is best. There is lots I've never would have discovered if it hadn't been for Arts & Faith. Ryan
  3. I usually take the kids every week, Saturday morning to check out books and videos from the local, small-ish library. Occasionally we stay for story time/craft time. the kids seem to enjoy it, and I get a chance to check out a book every once in a while.
  4. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Tim Keller's recent blog post on Willow Creek and John Frame's 'tri-perspectivalism' helped me a bit with understanding why my church is where it is today. http://rcpc.com/blog/view.jsp?Blog_param=44 Note especially this:
  5. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Greg, Thanks for your thoughts; I do have a feeling that there will really not be any reason good enough for our elders. We've brought up some of our concerns in the past and it seems like they are mostly dismissed as just simply small differences in how best to do things or that we aren't having enough faith or vision. The best Sunday we've had as a family in a while was going to see a baseball game with my brother and his wife. We skipped church. Ryan
  6. Ryan

    Things That I Now Know Exist

    I see Come O Spirit is out (and on eMusic for those that are interested). Worth acquiring? Ryan
  7. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Based on a number of posts here, it seems that I ought to approach session, "the leadership" in some way with our concerns. Disappearing may be the easiest method but may not be the best. I have considered engaging some of the families that have recently left, or that I know are considering leaving, but am not sure if that is a good idea or not. Thank you to everyone. I've been a long-time lurker here and although I know this place is not perfect, it has often been of great encouragement to me, this thread being no exception. Ryan
  8. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    There is community at the church, but I do not think we are a part of it any longer. I have a hard time envisioning that community being strong again, but I do not think it is impossible. On the other hand, how long should we flounder in hope? Ryan
  9. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Rich, thanks for the questions. On friends: We did have a few friends. One moved away, the others I guess have drifted away; that could be another longer post. On being a deacon: I accepted because I thought I had something to offer to the church. I thought it would be a time for me to grow, I thought I would get to know some of the other men in the church. On the money: I would call it irresponsible in that the session has increased the budget and the expected giving when the past several years we've not ever achieved budget. We are also raising money for a building we can't afford to build, in fact we are using the building fund money to cover normal expenses, building maintenance and a newly hired pastor. On homeschool: Most families homeschool their kids. Another family we know was told by another family in the church that they were sorry they couldn't be friends because they weren't homeschooling. Just a general feeling that not homeschooling is frowned upon, although that is not the official position of the church. On spiritual dryness: I think has much to do with feeling like our concerns have been ignored by the pastor and elders, which has affected our ability to listen, to be taught. Some of it may be due to my own depression. I don't believe we are the only ones rotting on the vine. Others have left the church, we know at least one other couple that is unhappy. I do wonder why I care about leaving gracefully. Is it because there are some people I think care about me? Is it because I don't want to look like a church shopper? I'm not sure. Ryan Thank you. I need it. We have discussed some of our financial concerns with the session previously, but that didn't seem to go anywhere. Meeting with them again will eventually happen - I think. But I need to think through some more of this first, and convince my wife that is the right thing to do. She's ready to go now. Ryan
  10. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Darrel, I'm not taking anything you said as being judgemental. I was really hoping you would respond to this post when I initially wrote it. I think church is place for some of what you mentioned (and probably a few others) Is it a place to make and have friends? - yes; I'm not sure this is happening where we are Is it the place for spiritual nurture? - yes; I'm not sure this is happening where we are Is it the place where you find outlet for your gifts and ministry? - yes; I think we are trying here but have also been rebuffed in some ways. Is it a community build around faith and mission? -yes; although the mission has changed recently - now primarily focused on a specific geographical region that we are not a part of. I'm probably being vague with some of these responses, sorry. Ryan
  11. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    I have no issues doctrinally; in fact doctrine was part of what led me to the church in the first place. My wife is less enamored with the doctrine, but not unhappy with it. For her, I think she would say that fellowship and community come first. Ryan
  12. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    Presbyterian. Thank you all for your good thoughts. I'll try to respond when I have some time. Ryan
  13. Ryan

    Leaving a church

    I would like to pseudo-resurrect a thread here. Andy has described what is close to me and my wife's situation. We are attending a church where we've been members for 5 years. I'm about 9 months away from ending a 3-year term as a deacon...but things are not going well. My wife is not growing, I feel like I'm stagnating. Neither of us have friends there, nor do our kids. Acquantinces sure, but not friends. We feel that the church is spending money irresponsibly and communicating poorly with it's members. We both feel that the church is turning into a homeschool ghetto and we aren't planning on homeschooling. (Please note, I have nothing against homeschooling!) I know my wife feels depressed after going to church. We've both probably felt this way for the last year or so. So why don't I want to go? Help me, what are good reasons to leave a church? Can it be done delicately and gracefully? Thanks, Ryan
  14. Ryan

    Spammers

    I see that the member exists, but any posts seem to have been removed. Sorry, it was a PM I received sometime over the weekend. Ryan
  15. Ryan

    What we're reading

    Since several people here mentioned Fieldwork, I though I would give it a go. Very enjoyable. Currently working through Run with the Horses by Eugene Peterson. After that will be Charming Billy by Alice McDermott Ryan
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