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Holiday pulpit humor

Darrel Manson

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A minister of a church loved peach brandy. Being of a certain

Persuasion, and knowing that drinking any alcoholic beverage is frowned

upon by his denomination, he would never think of purchasing brandy at

the market. There was a member of his congregation, however, a close

friend named Joe Wilkins, who made homemade brandy each year. It was

the most delicious peach brandy he had ever tasted, and the

minister looked forward to the day he would be given a bottle of the

yearly batch around Christmas.

One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his

usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed as he unwrapped the

homemade brandy. He went through the usual, "How can I ever thank

you enough?" routine.

This time, however, Joe thought he would gouge the minister, good

naturedly, and he told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy

from the pulpit the next Sunday. This really bothered the minister, as

he was determined to keep the brandy, but he would have to comply with

Tom's demand.

So the next Sunday the minister, knowing he had to make a public

announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the

church, took his place behind the pulpit as his friend, Joe, sat in the

audience with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's


The minister said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would

very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches...

and for the spirit in which they were given." "Thank you, Joe!"

A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film

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666: No. of the Beast

OK, you know that 666 is the Number of the Beast, but did you know that:

660 Approximate number of the Beast

DCLXVI Roman numeral of the Beast

666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast

0.666 Number of the Millibeast

/666 Beast Common Denominator

1010011010 Binary of the Beast

Beast1-666 Area code of the Beast

00666 Postcode of the Beast

1-900-666-0666 Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.

$665.95 Retail price of the Beast

$699.25 Price of the Beast plus sales tax

$769.95 Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul

$656.66 Target price of the Beast

Route 666 Way of the Beast

666F Oven temperature for roast Beast

666mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast

Netscape 6.66 BetaBrowser of the Beast

i66686 CPU of the Beast

666I BMW of the Beast

668 Next-door neighbour of the Beast


"God is so great and merciful that he does not require that we name him precisely. God is even willing to be anonymous for a time. Remember how God led the Three Wise Men from the East to Christ? The Wise Men did not know the God of Israel or Jesus. They worshipped the stars. So God used a star to lure them."--The Twelve Steps for Christians


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