SDG

Things kids say

241 posts in this topic

I've told this story on some other thread but I think it fits here as well.

When my middle son (Ethan) was 3 we watched most of Return of the Jedi - we had to stop because it was too late to watch any more - and we were finishing it up the next morning. Before I found the scene we were on, Ethan asked if we could watch the part with the "worm and the girl when she was captured." I asked if he meant Jabba and Princess Leia? He said yes. I asked why he wanted to watch that part again, and he responded, "Because I love her."

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Bizarrely, this thread does not turn up when I search for "things kids". Hmmm.

Anyway, my daughter can be somewhat indecisive when settling on which video to watch. This morning, she seemed to have selected one of the Franklin discs (a cartoon about a turtle; I don't know if it exists in the States). But then, as I was about to put the disc in the player, I thought I heard her ask for something else instead. Because I'm a little under the weather and in no mood to drag these sorts of things out right now, I said, "Do you want Franklin or not?" She replied, "Not!" Okay, I said, putting the disc away, "then what DO you want?" "Not!" "What do you want to watch?" "Not!!" "So you want to watch nothing?" "NOT!" And on it went like this for a few more minutes. She really seemed to think that we have a disc named Not around here.

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We have 22 nephews and nieces, and a 23rd on the way... just on my wife's side of the family.

But I always look forward to seeing one in particular: Auralia. For obvious reasons. It's going to be interesting to see what she becomes, bearing a name I invented for a fictional character.

Thus I was a little startled when Auralia, now 6, greeted me by announcing, "My name's not Auralia anymore. It's Stinky." And she even had a "HELLO MY NAME IS STINKY" nametag to prove it.

Interesting. Auralia's Colors has been called worse than "Stinky." But still, I'm hoping the self-declared name has nothing to do with talk about the book around her house....

auralia1.jpg

Edited by Overstreet

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Jeff: If Auralia is 6, then would that mean she was born before you had a book deal, but after you started writing it? Who got the name first, your niece or your character?

The picture reminds me of something else my daughter has said from time to time. One of our discs is a collection of the earliest Donald Duck cartoons, and it just so happens that Donald Duck made his first appearance as a GUEST character (along with Peter Pig, who, thankfully, was never revived) in a cartoon version of The Wise Old Hen. But for some reason my daughter no longer likes that cartoon very much (because of the moralism? because Donald Duck is in so little of it? who knows?). So whenever the disc started up, she used to yell, "I DON'T WANT THE CHICKEN!" There's just something so ... reductive ... about the way she phrases that, it has always amused me. Is the character in question a "wise old hen"? No, she's just a "chicken".

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Good question. I started writing Auralia's Colors in 1996. Family members read early drafts. The living, breathing Auralia was named after my character when Auralia's Colors was only a dusty pile of paper on my desk badly in need of revision. I'm glad, for her sake, that the book eventually became a little more than that.

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This week, rewatching The Two Towers, we came to the scene in Helm's Deep after Aragorn and Legolas's altercation about the pending battle, where Aragorn is getting vested for battle. It's a dramatically heroic moment, and James, who is eight (and not exactly the most reflective or perceptive of our kids), suddenly asked:

"Is Aragorn the hero?"

Chuckling, I replied, "Well, he's not supposed to be ... but he's probably more the hero than he should be."

James thought for a moment, then observed: "The music is going, 'Ar-a-GORN! Ar-a-GORN!'"

Which I thought was fabulous, especially coming from James.

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In this current phase of separation -- hopefully not forever -- Genesis and Elijah came on their every-other-weekend visit. At one point Genesis jumped in my bed and exclaimed, "Aaah! This bed smells like Daddy!"

Not knowing how I smell (I've never smelled myself that I can think of), knowing that she hates smoke and I'm a smoker, as well as other past smells Daddy may have had, I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or not. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.

"It's a great thing!" she replied.

Not as cute as some of the other things here, but reassuring nonetheless.

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Kids have a way of saying things that either lift us up or keep us humble.

My middle son who is 4 years old has an interesting habbit of getting the names of things wrong. He has been known to just invent names when he can't think of the real name for something. Here are a few examples:

IHOP - he loves IHOP since pancakes are his favorite food. Actually, I think syrup is his favorite food but pancakes are sort of a package deal. Problem is he can never remember the name of IHOP so he has started calling it Mohawk. No clue why...

Harry Potter - the oldest boys have watched the first two Harry Potter films and they love them. Ethan - the 4 year old - can never remember the name of the film or the main character so he has started calling it/him Peter Potterin. Once again, no idea...

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Context:

Six-year-old Anna is the most creative nag I ever met. She knows by experience that if she just begs for things directly she will eventually be not only refused but rebuffed, so she finds remarkably inventive ways of letting you know her innermost longings for, e.g., some doll or outfit or adventure she'd like to go on without actually directly saying "Can we...?"

Anna loves attention and being the center of attention, and one way that she engineers it is by telling me and others in the family serial stories, usually about fairy princesses and such. Often she asks to tell me another installment at an inconvenient time, and I have to turn her down more often than not.

This morning she wrapped up one long-running serial, and has been campaigning all day to tell me chapter one of her next tale. I've been putting her off, saying that tomorrow would be soon enough.

A little while ago, she came to me while I was sitting at the computer, showed me her latest ensemble, made some jokes, and then said out of the blue,

"I wish I had a warp."

"A what?" I asked.

"A time travel."

"Oh. What would you do if you had a time machine?"

"Well, first I could go to tomorrow and finally -- well, not finally, but I could go to tomorrow and tell you my new story. Then I could come back to today..."

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B. Dale, after asking a couple other existential questions on the way to Boston Market: "So what if there were no people? And no anything else, like the earth? And no God? I think it would all look white."

(One of his earlier questions was something like this: "If the only people were you and me and Mommy and Grandma and Grandpa and Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle Josh and Aunt Beth and Ava and Uncle Dave, how would that change everything?")

Dale

Edited by M. Dale Prins

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B. Dale, after asking a couple other existential questions on the way to Boston Market: "So what if there were no people? And no anything else, like the earth? And no God? I think it would all look white."

Ah, the subtractive color-space based thinking of a child used to applying colored pigments to white paper.

(FWIW, I would entertain the question, but demur at "no God" by explaining that this is impossible, that God can't not exist.)

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SDG wrote:

: Ah, the subtractive color-space based thinking of a child used to applying colored pigments to white paper.

I always used to imagine nothingness as absolute blackness. What does THAT say?

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: Ah, the subtractive color-space based thinking of a child used to applying colored pigments to white paper.

I always used to imagine nothingness as absolute blackness. What does THAT say?

Additive color-space based thinking. Suggests you think of color as light rather than pigment.

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3 year old Nina - "Why did Jesus die?"

Um

Matt

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: Ah, the subtractive color-space based thinking of a child used to applying colored pigments to white paper.

I always used to imagine nothingness as absolute blackness. What does THAT say?

Additive color-space based thinking. Suggests you think of color as light rather than pigment.

Or you listened to a lot of the Stones as a kid.

Dominic (4): What is Jesus doing at the of the world?

Daddy: He's making rooms for us in his mansion and will bring us there to stay with him?

Dominic: Noo! I don't want to go to Jesus' house! I want to stay in my house!

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So David (11) and James (9) wear clothes to bed (T-shirt and sweats) rather than jammies.

So in the other room, I hear Sarah (15) say to Anna (6), "Go ask Papa." And Anna appears at my side asking, "Can I wear clothes during the night and the day, like the boys?"

"Did Sarah tell you to ask me?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And who am I going to tell you to ask?"

"Mama?"

"Mama. Mama is in charge of the ladies' clothes."

Anna made a sound of frustration on her way out the door. Her parting shot:

"If I were a boy, you could say yes."

Then, in response to the hearty laughter with which I greeted this observation, she grew excited and added, "Write it on your blog!!!" and began strutting around with pride at having uttered a remark that would live on for posterity ... here at Arts & Faith.

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But ... but ... this isn't a blog ...

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But ... but ... this isn't a blog ...

Yeah, Anna's grasp of these things is a bit hazy yet.

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From Steve Lansingh's blog:

Corin's latest knock-knock joke:

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Penguin!"

"Penguin who?"

"Octopus!"

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Three-year-old Nathan, out of the blue:

"Mama, I really love Jesus.

"...but I hate the Green Goblin."

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Singing in the bathtub:

We are spiders

But Jesus Christ has made us

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SDG, I don't know if this counts as a "things kids say" kind of item, but last night, as I was getting my daughter ready for bed, she began pointing at the letters on my Decent Films Guide T-shirt and asking me what each of them were -- and I was able to associate almost each and every letter with a member of the family ("D" for "Daddy", "E" for Elizabeth, etc., etc.).

The only cases where we "stretched" to connect a name to a person were with the letters "I" and "F", both of which somehow got associated with Elizabeth's grandmothers. By this point, we had already found letters for Daddy, Mommy, Uncle Larry and all three of the kids. So when Elizabeth pointed to "I" and I said which letter it was, she suddenly said "Grammi!" (i.e. my wife's mother), and I figured that might make some sense since Grammi does spell her name with an "I" at the end. But then Elizabeth pointed to "F", and I said which letter it was, and then Elizabeth said "Oma!" (i.e. my mom), which made no sense at all. But since there is no "O" in "Decent Films Guide" to begin with, I figured I might as well run with it. (When we got to "G", I gave that one to "Grandpa", i.e. my dad, since Grammi was already taken care of.)

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Three-year-old Nathan has frequently been scolded (and occasionally spanked) for throwing hard things, and we have tried to impress on him that this is high on the list of unacceptable behavior.

So when six-year-old Anna reported, "Papa, Nathan is on the top bunk throwing boots!" and I called warningly from the next room, "Nathan, you aren't throwing hard things, are you?" he realized his error ... and did some fast thinking.

"No," he ventured, "the boots are soft ... inside."

Three. He's three.

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Along the same lines. Our three year old was touching her big Christmas present that doesn't quite fit under the tree, so it sits next to the tree.

I said: You are not to touch presents under the Christmas tree.

She said: This present is not under the tree.

Edited by MLeary

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LOL, payback.

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