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Guest Russell Lucas

Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs

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Thom   

(M)Leary - you know we would have to bring it before the board for review and then vote on it. Of course the present acting president would overrule anyway.

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M. Leary   

Well, not really. See, President Buck literally is the acting president which leaves the position of motto decision president open. Since I discovered it, I immediately claim it.

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Guest Russell Lucas   
Guest Russell Lucas

Expanding this thread to large billboards over freeways advertising Christian radio stations:

Seen yesterday morning over I-376 heading into the city:

OUR LISTENERS LIVE LONGER

101.5 WORD-FM

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Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer."

-God

This might actually be funny.

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Guest Russell Lucas   
Guest Russell Lucas

Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

 

\"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer.\"

                                                                             -God

This might actually be funny.

Yeah, that billboard series-- I forget who the sponsor was, but I recall the simple white letters on black background-- had a few moments of actual wit and humor.

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Andrew   

That billboard is on a par with this bumper sticker I saw recently: "God is watching -- Look busy"

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Thom   

Here's one from the western suburbs of Chicagoland...

"Come on in!"

Welcoming but not funny!

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Diane   

That reminds me of one I spotted in Alabama on the outskirts of Birmingham:

Sign broken. Come inside for message.

Are they even trying? Or is this clever?

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MattPage   

I've never seen it on a church noticeboard, but I just can't help thinking of

"Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks your a ******"

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From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

Near Beaufort, SC:

Heaven: Don't miss it for the world

Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

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Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

Maybe the sermon title?

While we were in Midwestern church-sign land, I saw this one on a Lutheran church in Dyer, Indiana:

Home improvement

Bring your family to church

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From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

WOW. Rural Hall! I lived near there when I was a kid, between Winston-Salem and Clemmonsville. RH was a little farther out.

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MattPage   

I suspect that this won't make any sense to most of you but in keeping with the rugby world cup a church near me has resorted to

"If rugby is your religion...convert!"

Matt

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\"If rugby is your religion...convert!\"

Change rugby to football and put that sign in Texas and the church would likely be torched.

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DanBuck   

Something's missing from our Ch--ch (Orlando, Florida)

Everytime I went by it I mentally filled in the blank and felt dumber. They must owe me thousands of brain cells as I figger it.

The biggest Baptist Church in town, First Baptist of Orlando actually has a newletter entitled We're in First Place!.

The bad news is, the're on the wrong track.

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Diane   

Here's a whole collection of church signs

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First Baptist of Ferndale (ABC) down the street from me: "Give God what is right, not what is left." Eh, not bad.

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MattPage   

I said above:

\"I've never seen it on a church noticeboard, but I just can't help thinking of  

\"Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks your a ******\"

respect due to the First Baptist Church.

(although in the Uk at the moment it would probably win more votes at the moment if it used Bush instead of Saddam)

Matt

PS Darrel. Do they have "conversions" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

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PS Darrel. Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

After a touchdown, the ball is placed on the two or three yard line (2 in college, 3 in NFL) and the scoring team gets one down to add 1 (by kicking a field goal or [excedeingly rare]scoring a safety) or 2 points (for a touchdown), thus "converting" a TD from 6 point to 7 (or 8 ). Technical term is not conversion, rather, "Try for point." But conversion is popular usage. The stat is usually listed as PAT (points after touchdown).

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Ron Reed   

Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football?

Yes, quite a few football players have become Christians.

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But the Grey Cup is more nuanced, not black and white.

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