Jump to content

Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs


Guest Russell Lucas

Recommended Posts

hey, is that anything like a cineplex? or maybe I should say SINeplex!!

is this the new CANFaSDBG motto?

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 144
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

(M)Leary - you know we would have to bring it before the board for review and then vote on it. Of course the present acting president would overrule anyway.

...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, not really. See, President Buck literally is the acting president which leaves the position of motto decision president open. Since I discovered it, I immediately claim it.

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Russell Lucas

Expanding this thread to large billboards over freeways advertising Christian radio stations:

Seen yesterday morning over I-376 heading into the city:

OUR LISTENERS LIVE LONGER

101.5 WORD-FM

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a good billboard (Pink letters on Green background):

"Give me more JESUS."

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

Link to post
Share on other sites

Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer."

-God

This might actually be funny.

So you ladies and you gentlemen, pull your bloomers on...

-Joe Henry

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Russell Lucas

Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

 

\"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer.\"

                                                                             -God

This might actually be funny.

Yeah, that billboard series-- I forget who the sponsor was, but I recall the simple white letters on black background-- had a few moments of actual wit and humor.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...

Here's one from the western suburbs of Chicagoland...

"Come on in!"

Welcoming but not funny!

...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

Link to post
Share on other sites

That reminds me of one I spotted in Alabama on the outskirts of Birmingham:

Sign broken. Come inside for message.

Are they even trying? Or is this clever?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

Near Beaufort, SC:

Heaven: Don't miss it for the world

Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

Maybe the sermon title?

While we were in Midwestern church-sign land, I saw this one on a Lutheran church in Dyer, Indiana:

Home improvement

Bring your family to church

www.TheFilmForum.com -- Christian conversation about the movies

www.AmandaLCaldwell.com -- ALC Editing Services

Link to post
Share on other sites

From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

WOW. Rural Hall! I lived near there when I was a kid, between Winston-Salem and Clemmonsville. RH was a little farther out.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Something's missing from our Ch--ch (Orlando, Florida)

Everytime I went by it I mentally filled in the blank and felt dumber. They must owe me thousands of brain cells as I figger it.

The biggest Baptist Church in town, First Baptist of Orlando actually has a newletter entitled We're in First Place!.

The bad news is, the're on the wrong track.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

Here's a whole collection of church signs

Link to post
Share on other sites

First Baptist of Ferndale (ABC) down the street from me: "Give God what is right, not what is left." Eh, not bad.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I said above:

\"I've never seen it on a church noticeboard, but I just can't help thinking of  

\"Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks your a ******\"

respect due to the First Baptist Church.

(although in the Uk at the moment it would probably win more votes at the moment if it used Bush instead of Saddam)

Matt

PS Darrel. Do they have "conversions" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

Link to post
Share on other sites

PS Darrel. Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

After a touchdown, the ball is placed on the two or three yard line (2 in college, 3 in NFL) and the scoring team gets one down to add 1 (by kicking a field goal or [excedeingly rare]scoring a safety) or 2 points (for a touchdown), thus "converting" a TD from 6 point to 7 (or 8 ). Technical term is not conversion, rather, "Try for point." But conversion is popular usage. The stat is usually listed as PAT (points after touchdown).
A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

Link to post
Share on other sites

Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football?

Yes, quite a few football players have become Christians.

I've posted a couple hundred of my Soul Food Movies write-ups at letterboxd

Link to post
Share on other sites

But the Grey Cup is more nuanced, not black and white.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...