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Guest Russell Lucas

Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs

By Guest Russell Lucas, in Catch-All

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M. Leary   

M. Leary
Posted

hey, is that anything like a cineplex? or maybe I should say SINeplex!!

is this the new CANFaSDBG motto?

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

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Thom   

Thom
Posted

(M)Leary - you know we would have to bring it before the board for review and then vote on it. Of course the present acting president would overrule anyway.

...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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M. Leary   

M. Leary
Posted

Well, not really. See, President Buck literally is the acting president which leaves the position of motto decision president open. Since I discovered it, I immediately claim it.

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

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Guest Russell Lucas   

Guest Russell Lucas
Posted

Expanding this thread to large billboards over freeways advertising Christian radio stations:

Seen yesterday morning over I-376 heading into the city:

OUR LISTENERS LIVE LONGER

101.5 WORD-FM

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M. Leary   

M. Leary
Posted

I have a good billboard (Pink letters on Green background):

"Give me more JESUS."

"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

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Jeff Kolb   

Jeff Kolb
Posted

Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer."

-God

This might actually be funny.

So you ladies and you gentlemen, pull your bloomers on...

-Joe Henry

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Guest Russell Lucas   

Guest Russell Lucas
Posted

Seen on a billboard next to a busy freeway:

 

\"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer.\"

                                                                             -God

This might actually be funny.

Yeah, that billboard series-- I forget who the sponsor was, but I recall the simple white letters on black background-- had a few moments of actual wit and humor.

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Thom   

Thom
Posted

Here's one from the western suburbs of Chicagoland...

"Come on in!"

Welcoming but not funny!

...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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Diane   

Diane
Posted

That reminds me of one I spotted in Alabama on the outskirts of Birmingham:

Sign broken. Come inside for message.

Are they even trying? Or is this clever?

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Darrel Manson   

Darrel Manson
Posted

From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

Near Beaufort, SC:

Heaven: Don't miss it for the world

Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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Amanda Caldwell   

Amanda Caldwell
Posted

Bizarre sign on a church on John's Island, near Charleston, SC:

Tithes and offerings

(That's all it said)

Maybe the sermon title?

While we were in Midwestern church-sign land, I saw this one on a Lutheran church in Dyer, Indiana:

Home improvement

Bring your family to church

www.TheFilmForum.com -- Christian conversation about the movies

www.AmandaLCaldwell.com -- ALC Editing Services

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Rich Kennedy   

Rich Kennedy
Posted

From my wanderings around the Carolinas:

in Rural Hall, NC:

Is your life wasted? God recycles.

WOW. Rural Hall! I lived near there when I was a kid, between Winston-Salem and Clemmonsville. RH was a little farther out.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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Darrel Manson   

Darrel Manson
Posted

\"If rugby is your religion...convert!\"

Change rugby to football and put that sign in Texas and the church would likely be torched.

A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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DanBuck   

DanBuck
Posted

Something's missing from our Ch--ch (Orlando, Florida)

Everytime I went by it I mentally filled in the blank and felt dumber. They must owe me thousands of brain cells as I figger it.

The biggest Baptist Church in town, First Baptist of Orlando actually has a newletter entitled We're in First Place!.

The bad news is, the're on the wrong track.

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Diane   

Diane
Posted

Here's a whole collection of church signs

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Rich Kennedy   

Rich Kennedy
Posted

First Baptist of Ferndale (ABC) down the street from me: "Give God what is right, not what is left." Eh, not bad.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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MattPage   

MattPage
Posted

I said above:

\"I've never seen it on a church noticeboard, but I just can't help thinking of  

\"Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks your a ******\"

respect due to the First Baptist Church.

(although in the Uk at the moment it would probably win more votes at the moment if it used Bush instead of Saddam)

Matt

PS Darrel. Do they have "conversions" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

Bible Films Blog | Jesus Films Podcast | ReJesus | Faith and Film Critics Circle | Open Heaven Church

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Darrel Manson   

Darrel Manson
Posted

PS Darrel. Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football? That's why the sign writer thinks its funny.

After a touchdown, the ball is placed on the two or three yard line (2 in college, 3 in NFL) and the scoring team gets one down to add 1 (by kicking a field goal or [excedeingly rare]scoring a safety) or 2 points (for a touchdown), thus "converting" a TD from 6 point to 7 (or 8 ). Technical term is not conversion, rather, "Try for point." But conversion is popular usage. The stat is usually listed as PAT (points after touchdown).
A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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Ron Reed   

Ron Reed
Posted

Do they have \"conversions\" in American Football?

Yes, quite a few football players have become Christians.

I've posted a couple hundred of my Soul Food Movies write-ups at letterboxd

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Rich Kennedy   

Rich Kennedy
Posted

But the Grey Cup is more nuanced, not black and white.

"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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