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Guest Russell Lucas

Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs

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Well, yeah! NEVER, I mean NEVER admit that you are an overgrown kid. Even if she is on to you. biggrinjester.gif


"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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Yeah, there was another link to this in the prehistoric element of this thread.

NOW! With handy dandy REFRIDGERATOR MAGNET KIT! Links to books of more derivative drivel (how many use alliteration?).

I should talk. My church has a huge banner facing Comerica Park that says "Pray Here for the Lions and Tigers!". It works, as an usher I can attest to the odd fan wandering in for precisely that purpose in the Fall.


"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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I should talk. My church has a huge banner facing Comerica Park that says "Pray Here for the Lions and Tigers!". It works, as an usher I can attest to the odd fan wandering in for precisely that purpose in the Fall.

An occasional fan wandering in or a bizarre fan wondering in. (As if Lion and Tiger fans aren't odd to start with.)


A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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An occasional fan wandering in or a bizarre fan wondering in.  (As if Lion and Tiger fans aren't odd to start with.)

HEY! I agree with you about Tigers fans. We Lions fans are sports/SM freaks.

Occasional sincere fan. Sincere about the prayer for the team. Some who were brought up Catholic have been confused as to the paucity of Hail Marys in the BCP, though.

We get written up all the time in local media, particularly for the prayer service before the first Sunday afternoon Tiger game of the season. The Rector has been interviewed on CNN, FoxNews, and ESPN too.


"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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I also just noticed you said "in the Fall". How long has it been since the Tigers needed prayers in the Fall?


A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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I also just noticed you said "in the Fall".  How long has it been since the Tigers needed prayers in the Fall?

Specifically, 1983 and 1986. A sportscaster back then coined the term, "Bless You Boys" and he famously took back the blessing when they stumbled in late September. If you remember '84, they needed little prayer at all, going wire to wire in the lead.

I've only encountered the wandering prayer warriors in the Fall. The church is famous for organised prayer in the Spring.


"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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here's one:

RECIEPT FOR SALVATION:

YOU : $ FREE

JESUS : $ DEATH

****

i may have added the dollar signs.. i can't completely remember..

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In Southern Maryland, at a United Methodist church:

At Our Church, Every Sunday Is


"What matters are movies, not awards; experiences, not celebrations; the subjective power of individual critical points of view, not the declamatory compromises of consensus." - Richard Brody, "Godard's Surprise Win Is a Victory for Independent Cinema," The New Yorker

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Lurker here... great thread and I had to get in on it.

There is a small Lutheran church down the street that is trying to be hip for some reason. Two weeks ago the sign read:

"Who's Your Daddy?"

This struck me as wrong on so many levels.

:blink:

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I'm surprised nobody's been posting signs yet based on that link posted earlier:

LET THE FUN BEGIN!!

IPB Image

Edited by Jeffrey Overstreet

P.S.  I COULD BE WRONG.

 

Takin' 'er easy for all you sinners at lookingcloser.org. Also abiding at Facebook and Twitter.

 

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The Life magazine newspaper insert for this week has pics of various signs. A couple of the sayings are stolen from the messages from God billboards from a few years back. Others shown:

Shiloh AME Zion Church, Statesville, NC: Looking for a lifeguard? Ours walks on water

Gethsemane Baptist Church, Nashville, TN: Wal Mart isnt [sic] the only saving place in town

Bidgeton Bible Church, Bridgeton, MO: Swallow your pride, it contains no calories

Long Hill Baptist Church: Trumbull, CT: Heaven is a cool place

Christain Assembly Ministries, Stewartsville, NJ: Give your troubles to God, he's up all night anyway

Trinity Lutheran Church, San Diego, CA: Don't wait for six strong me to take you to church

Bel-Air Assembly of God, Glendale, AZ: ATM inside: Atonement-Truth-Mercy

First Baptist Church of Montana, Helena, MT: sign broken - message inside this sunday


A foreign movie can't be stupid.

-from the film
Armin

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The Life magazine newspaper insert for this week has pics of various signs. A couple of the sayings are stolen from the messages from God billboards from a few years back. Others shown:

Shiloh AME Zion Church, Statesville, NC: Looking for a lifeguard? Ours walks on water

Gethsemane Baptist Church, Nashville, TN: Wal Mart isnt [sic] the only saving place in town

Bidgeton Bible Church, Bridgeton, MO: Swallow your pride, it contains no calories

Long Hill Baptist Church: Trumbull, CT: Heaven is a cool place

Christain Assembly Ministries, Stewartsville, NJ: Give your troubles to God, he's up all night anyway

Trinity Lutheran Church, San Diego, CA: Don't wait for six strong me to take you to church

Bel-Air Assembly of God, Glendale, AZ: ATM inside: Atonement-Truth-Mercy

First Baptist Church of Montana, Helena, MT: sign broken - message inside this sunday

I live right down the street from a Baptist church that has used almost everyone of these.


"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

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I live right down the street from a Baptist church that has used almost everyone of these.

I'm not surprised. I've seen books full of suggestions. I just wish that The Disco Baptist Church was still around. There used to be an unincorporated jurisdiction on M-53 about halfway from Detroit to the tip of the "Thumb" called Disco. Had a little church right on the highway.


"During the contest trial, the Coleman team presented evidence of a further 6500 absentees that it felt deserved to be included under the process that had produced the prior 933 [submitted by Franken, rk]. The three judges finally defined what constituted a 'legal' absentee ballot. Countable ballots, for instance, had to contain the signature of the voter, complete registration information, and proper witness credentials.

But the panel only applied the standards going forward, severely reducing the universe of additional basentees the Coleman team could hope to have included. In the end, the three judges allowed about 350 additional absentees to be counted. The panel also did nothing about the hundreds, possibly thousands, of absentees that have already been legally included, yet are now 'illegal' according to the panel's own ex-post definition."

The Wall Street Journal editorial, April 18, 2009 concerning the Franken Coleman decision in the Minnesota U.S. Senate race of 2008.

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I just wish that The Disco Baptist Church was still around. There used to be an unincorporated jurisdiction on M-53 about halfway from Detroit to the tip of the "Thumb" called Disco. Had a little church right on the highway.

Heh. Well, there's a little town in Central Washington called Zillah, and Church of God - Zillah is always good for a chuckle.


Let's Carl the whole thing Orff!

Do you know the deep dark secret of the avatars?

It's big. It's fat. It's Greek.

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Two of those I actually smiled at

Give your troubles to God, he's up all night anyway (perhaps that's my inner insomniac that liked it)

Sign broken - message inside this Sunday (that just amused me).

Nardis

There was a church near my house that used to have signs back in the early 80s and they did used to amuse me (I was about 10 though so, y'know). Sadly those signs have been done to death now (so much so that I'm too embarrassed to even share them), but at the time they were quite groundbreaking.

Matt

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Sign broken - message inside this Sunday

I recently saw this message on the local church I use as my gauge for church sign messages. As I drove past all I could think of was, "Apparently the sign isn't broken."


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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"Thumb" called Disco. Had a little church right on the highway.

Heh. Well, there's a little town in Central Washington called Zillah, and Church of God - Zillah is always good for a chuckle.


In an interstellar burst, I am back to save the Universe.

Filmsweep by Persona. 2013 Film Journal. IlPersona.

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