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Sermon Humour


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I searched for a thread on this already in existance, but I was slightly unclear WHAT I should be searching for; it doesn't have a good title though it is somewhat in parallel with "Unfunny Things on Church Signs" ... EXCEPT I've heard enough corny and poorly-placed punch-lines in sermons; I want to share with people the highlights of what CAN come from well-used and periodic sermon humour.

For example, our pastor is a So. Baptist-ordained in a Presbyterian USA church. While speaking on communion one Sunday:

People's interpretations on this sacrement vary widely. As some of you are familiar, the Catholic church believes that through the sacrament, the bread actually becomes Christ's body and the wine actually becomes Christ's blood. Your Presbyterian denomination teaches that the bread just stays bread and the wine just stays wine. Meanwhile, in the Southern Baptist tradition, we believe that the bread just stays bread, but the wine actually becomes grape juice...

Are there any other examples of some good pastoral wit out there?

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There is a plane wreck in the middle of the South Pacific, and two survivors wash up on a small desert island.

The first survivor panics, "We're doomed. We're in the middle of the South Pacific. No one will find us."

The second survivor responds, "Don't worry about it. I make a $100,000 a week."

The first man says, "Do you realize that we are a thousand miles from civilization, out in the middle of nowhere. We are doomed."

The second man responds, "You don't understand. I make $100,000 a week."

The first survivor exclaims, "What does that matter? You aren't going to get the check now. No one will ever find us."

The second man explains, "Listen, I make a $100,000 a week, and I tithe, so my pastor is going to find me."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

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The pastor in the church I grew up (Presbyterian) was giving a sermon on Joseph. In the middle, he let his emotions (and apparent true feelings) get away with him, as he almost called Joseph, "that arrogant son of a....", then he stopped. The congregation roared.

I retold that story to a Bible class in a Christian Church one time. They not only found it unfunny, they were downright pissed off! I thought *that* was funny.

Subtlety is underrated
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Speaking of awkward congregational happenings.

My best friend from childhood is a Southern Baptist pastor. He completed his undergraduate degree at Georgetown College in Georgetown, KY. There he served several years as an intern at Georgetown Baptist Church. One particular Sunday, in the winter months, the Mayor of the town, was scheduled to get baptized. The senior pastor discovered that morning that the baptismal's heater broke, and from how my friend tells it, the senior pastor tried to postpone the baptismal another week, so it could be worked on. The mayor wasn't having any of it. All her friends and family were present. She didn't care about the water; she wanted it done that Sunday.

My friend attests that this is a true story.

He said that the place was dead silent, and from one side of the baptismal, everyone heard a door open, and the senior pastor sloshed down into the presence of the congregation. A moment later, a door opened from the other side of the baptismal, the Mayor stuck one leg in the water, and screeched, "G-ddam that water's cold."

My friend said everyone started laughing for two seconds, and then repressed it very quickly.

Edited by Michael Todd

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

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  • 3 weeks later...

I was told a funny story long ago by a pastor who was guest preaching at a small church. He noticed to his chagrin that one of the older men had fallen asleep in the pew, head tilted back and mouth wide open as he lightly snored.

A couple minutes later he noticed a teenager in the balcony. He was directly over the sleeping man, and he was lining up a shot. He had a small spitball crumpled up, and was preparing to drop it in the guy's mouth. The pastor told me the kid must had taken 15 minutes to get his aim, and then he let fly.

Bloop! Perfect hit!

The old man was startled awake, and it took all of the pastor's willpower not to laugh. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in church.

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