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Things kids say


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#41 SDG

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 07:37 PM

So David (11) and James (9) wear clothes to bed (T-shirt and sweats) rather than jammies.

So in the other room, I hear Sarah (15) say to Anna (6), "Go ask Papa." And Anna appears at my side asking, "Can I wear clothes during the night and the day, like the boys?"

"Did Sarah tell you to ask me?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And who am I going to tell you to ask?"

"Mama?"

"Mama. Mama is in charge of the ladies' clothes."

Anna made a sound of frustration on her way out the door. Her parting shot:

"If I were a boy, you could say yes."

Then, in response to the hearty laughter with which I greeted this observation, she grew excited and added, "Write it on your blog!!!" and began strutting around with pride at having uttered a remark that would live on for posterity ... here at Arts & Faith.

#42 Peter T Chattaway

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 07:39 PM

But ... but ... this isn't a blog ...

#43 SDG

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 09:48 PM

But ... but ... this isn't a blog ...

Yeah, Anna's grasp of these things is a bit hazy yet.

#44 Overstreet

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Posted 17 November 2009 - 07:13 PM

From Steve Lansingh's blog:

Corin's latest knock-knock joke:

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Penguin!"

"Penguin who?"

"Octopus!"



#45 SDG

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Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:00 PM

Three-year-old Nathan, out of the blue:

"Mama, I really love Jesus.

"...but I hate the Green Goblin."

#46 M. Leary

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Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:14 PM

Singing in the bathtub:

We are spiders
But Jesus Christ has made us

#47 Peter T Chattaway

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Posted 19 November 2009 - 05:01 PM

SDG, I don't know if this counts as a "things kids say" kind of item, but last night, as I was getting my daughter ready for bed, she began pointing at the letters on my Decent Films Guide T-shirt and asking me what each of them were -- and I was able to associate almost each and every letter with a member of the family ("D" for "Daddy", "E" for Elizabeth, etc., etc.).

The only cases where we "stretched" to connect a name to a person were with the letters "I" and "F", both of which somehow got associated with Elizabeth's grandmothers. By this point, we had already found letters for Daddy, Mommy, Uncle Larry and all three of the kids. So when Elizabeth pointed to "I" and I said which letter it was, she suddenly said "Grammi!" (i.e. my wife's mother), and I figured that might make some sense since Grammi does spell her name with an "I" at the end. But then Elizabeth pointed to "F", and I said which letter it was, and then Elizabeth said "Oma!" (i.e. my mom), which made no sense at all. But since there is no "O" in "Decent Films Guide" to begin with, I figured I might as well run with it. (When we got to "G", I gave that one to "Grandpa", i.e. my dad, since Grammi was already taken care of.)

#48 SDG

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Posted 21 December 2009 - 07:23 PM

Three-year-old Nathan has frequently been scolded (and occasionally spanked) for throwing hard things, and we have tried to impress on him that this is high on the list of unacceptable behavior.

So when six-year-old Anna reported, "Papa, Nathan is on the top bunk throwing boots!" and I called warningly from the next room, "Nathan, you aren't throwing hard things, are you?" he realized his error ... and did some fast thinking.

"No," he ventured, "the boots are soft ... inside."

Three. He's three.

#49 M. Leary

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Posted 22 December 2009 - 02:57 PM

Along the same lines. Our three year old was touching her big Christmas present that doesn't quite fit under the tree, so it sits next to the tree.

I said: You are not to touch presents under the Christmas tree.

She said: This present is not under the tree.

Edited by MLeary, 22 December 2009 - 02:57 PM.


#50 Persona

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Posted 23 December 2009 - 04:27 PM

LOL, payback.

#51 Buckeye Jones

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Posted 03 January 2010 - 09:56 AM

Not really anything Dominic (4) said, but more about what he did. Yesterday, he refused to leave the house and for the channel to be changed. On TV, "In Harm's Way", the 1965 John Wayne Pacific War effort. His first John Wayne and his first B&W. He watched from start to finish. Then played battleships with the christmas boxes. What a kid.

#52 SDG

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Posted 13 January 2010 - 09:08 PM

Boy, have I got a couple of doozies.

Four-year-old Elise, lone sister of four brothers in a family at our church, is sitting on the potty. Looking between her legs, she announces with satisfaction: "Well, I think my penis is coming along nicely."

-------

On a related note, six-year-old Anna, watching me sit three-year-old Nathan on the potty, asks the obvious question: "Why do boys have penises and girls don't?"

"God made girls' bodies and boys' bodies different from each other," I start to answer, whereupon she interrupts, "And why did God make boys' bodies with so much extra spit?"

-------

Next: The wrong Nathan.

#53 M. Leary

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 01:36 PM

Mom was in the bathroom cleaning, apparently making a lot of noise.

Bella (3 y.o.): Mom! The whole wide world is annoyed by you!

#54 SDG

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 03:59 PM

Mom was in the bathroom cleaning, apparently making a lot of noise.

Bella (3 y.o.): Mom! The whole wide world is annoyed by you!

That's great.

Here's The Wrong Nathan. (Nathan is also 3.) Bear in mind, Nathan has never before come up with anything even close to this.

Suz to Nathan (scolding him for roughhousing with his baby sister): "Nathan, you must be gentle with your baby sister, you must protect her and not be too rough with her!"

Nathan (exasperated, with hectoring-questioning tone, as if pointing out the obvious fallacy in Mama's thinking):
"Mama, you bought the wrong Nathan...? I belong in a different world."

Suz: "Oh, really? Where do you belong, then?"

Nathan (in same tone): "Back at the store...?"

Suz: "But wouldn't you be lonely without the brothers?"

Nathan (considering): "David could come with me."

James (anxious not to be overlooked): "What about me?!"

Nathan: "James can come too."

Suz: "What if people bought you at the store and they were mean to you?"

Nathan: "I would come back home from the store."

Suz: "How would you get out of the store?"

Nathan: "I would bring my key!"

Suz: "Oh, your key. But you wouldn't know the way home."

Nathan: "I would make a right and a left!"

Suz: "And how would you get all the way home?"

Nathan: "I would bring my balloon and fly home!"

Suz: "But what about the other Nathan I got from the store?"

Nathan (pleased): "Then there would be two Nathans!"

#55 David Smedberg

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:05 PM

Two Nathans might just be too much hilarity... :lol:

#56 BethR

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Posted 16 January 2010 - 01:57 PM

Mom was in the bathroom cleaning, apparently making a lot of noise.

Bella (3 y.o.): Mom! The whole wide world is annoyed by you!

That's great.

Here's The Wrong Nathan. (Nathan is also 3.) Bear in mind, Nathan has never before come up with anything even close to this.

...

There's a good children's book here!

#57 Darrel Manson

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Posted 17 January 2010 - 10:29 AM

Nathan (pleased): "Then there would be two Nathans!"

This sounds like something from the patriarch stories in Genesis.

#58 M. Leary

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 03:35 PM

Some real doozies this weekend:

After hearing me say that I don't accept all friend invites on Facebook:

"But Dad, you have to have some friends."

And after hearing me say we were having lunch out:

"But Dad, we have plenty to eat right here in the house."

#59 Phill Lytle

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 10:38 AM

We have a toy pengiun that my 7 month old son plays with. It's a little over a foot tall and it is basically a big Weeble - of the "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down" fame. It makes happy noises (laughing and the like) when it gets bumped, pushed, hit, etc... My 5 year old son Ethan was playing with it one day to entertain his little brother when he said,

"Mommy, when you hit this penguin it laughs. But when you hit a real penguin it says 'ouch.'"

#60 SDG

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 11:03 AM

We have a toy pengiun that my 7 month old son plays with. It's a little over a foot tall and it is basically a big Weeble - of the "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down" fame. It makes happy noises (laughing and the like) when it gets bumped, pushed, hit, etc... My 5 year old son Ethan was playing with it one day to entertain his little brother when he said,

"Mommy, when you hit this penguin it laughs. But when you hit a real penguin it says 'ouch.'"

That's great. The kid's empathy level exceeds the level encouraged by the toy. Sounds like he's a good big brother, too.