SDG

Things kids say

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Josie wrote:

: (but is his name actually T?)

No, it's T---. wink.png

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As my sister was taking my almost three year old nephew home the other night, he said, "Goodbye, Unca Dad."

 

Do not know where that came from.  :)

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Okay.  So, not really a "things kids say"...but on New Years day, my sister asked if I could watch the boys for a few hours.  I was a little hesitant, I was enjoying my first day of not having to go to work and being healthy (I spent six weeks with a severe bronchitus and then got bowled over with a hard hitting case of the flu in time for Christmas.  I got to spend Thanksgiving alone and Christmas with my parents, as they were sick with the flu as well)... but my sister said the boys would be napping...so I went over for a relaxing time.  My youngest nephew (1.5 yrs old) was up...but he was quietly watching Finding Nemo (his brother was obsessed with the movie at the same age).  We sat on the couch until he decided he wanted to play in his brother's room.  His brother was supposed to be napping.  Technically he was watching a movie (he has really gotten into the Incredibles) but was not being to loud.  After a few attempts to get to his brother's room (and me thwarting such attempts, he went into his own room and stood by his crib.  I put him in and he laid right down.

 

I walked out into the living room, sat on the couch, turned on the TV and looked at the monitor.  Three yr old nephew was taking off his clothes.  As I was wondering why, he walks to the door and soon is walking into the the living room completely naked.  He plops down and I see some stuff on his feet.  I as what happened.

 

"I POOPED!"  and he was grinning from ear to ear...and I realized that is what was on his feet.  I ran him to the bathroom and started cleaning him up (the goofy charm of him walking out carefree and naked was gone as I stepped into his room and discovered an overpowering smell...and poop on almost everything.  he had ground it into the carpet, the hardwood floors, the sheets, his stuff animals and blankets...

 

Then little brother burst into tears and wanted to play in brother's room again.  Oh the joys of children.  :)

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And now, four years after this episode, Anna's younger sister Catie, now five, has also resorted to a time-travel counterfactual in order to elliptically bring up a subject she sensed was too touchy to bring up directly.
 

Context:

Six-year-old Anna is the most creative nag I ever met. She knows by experience that if she just begs for things directly she will eventually be not only refused but rebuffed, so she finds remarkably inventive ways of letting you know her innermost longings for, e.g., some doll or outfit or adventure she'd like to go on without actually directly saying "Can we...?"

Anna loves attention and being the center of attention, and one way that she engineers it is by telling me and others in the family serial stories, usually about fairy princesses and such. Often she asks to tell me another installment at an inconvenient time, and I have to turn her down more often than not.

This morning she wrapped up one long-running serial, and has been campaigning all day to tell me chapter one of her next tale. I've been putting her off, saying that tomorrow would be soon enough.

A little while ago, she came to me while I was sitting at the computer, showed me her latest ensemble, made some jokes, and then said out of the blue,

"I wish I had a warp."

"A what?" I asked.

"A time travel."

"Oh. What would you do if you had a time machine?"

"Well, first I could go to tomorrow and finally -- well, not finally, but I could go to tomorrow and tell you my new story. Then I could come back to today..."

 

The new episode:

 

"I wish I could go back in time," Catie said to Suz the other day.

"Oh? What would you do if you could go back in time?"

"I would go back to when I said I wanted the chocolate donut … and I would ask for ice cream instead."

 

Is there something about the way I'm raising my kids (specifically my girls, apparently) that fosters this kind of sci-fi-based elliptical discourse?

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Is there something about the way I'm raising my kids (specifically my girls, apparently) that fosters this kind of sci-fi-based elliptical discourse?

Yes.

Edited by Rushmore

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Is there something about the way I'm raising my kids (specifically my girls, apparently) that fosters this kind of sci-fi-based elliptical discourse?

Yes.

 

 

Ha! That's hilarious. Although Anna's remark precedes that tandem story by a year ... and Catie was just a baby, so she didn't hear it. Still, it's the kind of thing I expose them to, clearly.

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"I wish I was John Wayne."  Eric, 6.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because he gets to shoot dynamite."

 

Comments upon watching Rio Bravo.  That'll be the day, son.  That'll be the day.

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Rory, almost 4, holding a hand-drawn treasure map: "I know where I'm going, but I don't know how to get there." Future songwriter, obviously.

 

We need an off-shoot of this thread called, "Things we say to our kids," just so I have somewhere to post, "Stop rubbing your bare butt on your sister."

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So this is stretching the topic, since James is 13 and David is 16, but still.

Last night during family prayers I quoted Matthew 5:19: "Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven."

And James goes: "About being called least or great in the kingdom of heaven…didn't Jesus say the first shall be last and the last first?"

And David answers: "I'm pretty sure this is after that algorithm has been run, James."

Which is so typical of both of their personalities: James, literal, a little concerned and logical to a fault; David, thinking like a programmer seeing the obvious solution and being a little superior about it.

Edited by SDG

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We need an off-shoot of this thread called, "Things we say to our kids," just so I have somewhere to post, "Stop rubbing your bare butt on your sister."

 

William, don't lick the van.

 

William, take off your mom's underwear.

 

William, don't put your foot in that melon.

 

William, no you may not fart on that helicopter.

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Two-year-old Matthew often goes by "Mafoo" (or "Mafoo-foo")—or, in our anime-loving household, "Mafoo-san." 

 

So both Matthew and Grandpa were a bit confused when Grandpa called him "Grandson," and Matthew protested, "I not 'Grandson,' I Mafoo-san!" 

 

So, Japanese lesson for Grandpa, English for baby. 

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Someday my son Nathan (8) will be too cool or self-conscious to be unabashedly affectionate, but for now I love how he runs to hug me when I’m leaving for work or coming home.

 

The other day I was leaving the house early and he leaped out of bed to run down the stairs and catch me before I got away. I was later informed that as he ran out of his room he was declaiming “Not on my watch!” 

Edited by SDG

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There's a picture of a raccoon in a book I'm reading Daisy.

 

--Daisy, have you ever seen a raccoon?

--No.

--Why not?

--Because they're nocturnal.

--What does that mean?

--It means they only come out at night.  And if you see one during the day then they have rabies.

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At the dinner table, my foster brother told me he got bit by a tarantula at Petco.

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The other day I was leaving the house early and he leaped out of bed to run down the stairs and catch me before I got away.

 

I eat breakfast almost every day with Rory. If she oversleeps a few minutes, I'll hear her bedroom door open and then, with a touch of panic, "Daddy, don't go yet!" It breaks my heart a little every time. I can't remember if I've mentioned this on A&F before, but I've occasionally said that parenting has made me "nostalgic for the present" (almost like that great Portuguese word "saudade"). I'm so moved by these small, daily moments because whenever they happen I'm simultaneously experiencing them as my future self, when they're only warm, fading memories. It's the damnedest thing.

Edited by Darren H

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This story keeps getting weirder, and I have to capture it for posterity. 

Last night, out of the blue, our 3yo asked Suz, "Do people want freedom?" 

That was a little startling, and I was still puzzling over it a few minutes later when he asked a follow-up question: "Is freedom a simple thing?" 

Well, that freaked me out, and I began probing where these notions came from. Under cross-examination he revealed that his 7yo sister had been singing a song that went, "We want a simple thing — it is freedom." 

So that made sense. Out of curiosity I Googled the words, but found nothing. I wondered whether they came from a YouTube video or perhaps one of her brothers' video games. 

So this morning I ask 7yo about it — and she says she made up the words. 

Then she tells me that she made them up while playing a game with the neighbors called "Zombie Tag." The players running from the "zombies" sing the words responsively. 

Then she tells me that the "zombie" players also have a corresponding song that goes, "We want a simple thing — it is brains." 

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP

Edited by SDG

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