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Things kids say

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M. Leary   

This is hard to explain. Bear with me.

We have started playing Junior Charades with our 4.5 year old. Some of the things she can read and act out. For things she can't read, she looks at the picture on the card and simply act out what she sees. Today, she received a card which said "CHECKERS," which is a word that she cannot read. So she looks at the picture and sees people moving around yellow checker pieces, one of which has a piece by their open mouth. She looks puzzled.

To act out this charade, she begins grabbing game pieces and pretends to eat them. My wife is stumped. Eventually she gives up, and my daughter explains that she has been acting out: "CHEESE CHECKERS."

Had to be there, but it was a hoot.

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SDG   

2 1/2-year-old Catie is sucking on a plastic baby Jesus Christmas decoration.

Anna (7): "Catie! Do not eat Jesus!"

Nathan (4): "But we eat Him every week at church!"

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My sports fandom is going to ruin my daughter's education. I've gone on before that I'm a huge college football fan, specifically of my alma mater, the University of Georgia (which is usually represented by a black version of the Green Bay G).

Addison is two, and we're working on letters. So far, she has a few down pat - A (for Addie), M (for mommy) and D (for Daddy). However, she may be the only child in her preschool next year that tries to tell the teacher that the G is for touchdown (and she is very enthusiastic when telling us that, too).

:D

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opus   

Simon -- our three-year-old -- is at that phase where bedtime can be a very arduous time. He has all kinds of tricks for putting off bedtime, and one of his favorites is to ask for a "Satsuki story", which is a story where I tell of the further adventures of the two little girls from My Neighbor Totoro (one of his favorite films). However, tonight, my wife and I were really trying to get to prayers, so I offered to pray for Satsuki (thus killing two birds with one stone).

Simon then calmly and firmly explained that I couldn't do that because Satsuki was from his movie. And so, he got a "Satsuki story" and then a prayer.

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The outrageous/vaguely cute statements really never end.

"I'm fairly certain that after working my ass off for two years, I will fully deserve a Chilean vacation upon graduation."

-- my 25-year-old graduate student daughter

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opus   

Earlier today, Simon told my wife "My daddy turns on TV perfect. So so so much better than you." Nice to know that I have at least one talent worth recognizing.

:blink:

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SDG   

Catie (2 1/2) has a new nightgown with Marie from The Aristocats on it, and has consequently become obsessed with the film ... which she calls "The Rest of the Cats."

She likes "The Rest of the Cats" very much ... except "the sad part when Tinker Bell comes" (i.e., the end, when the Disney logo with Tinker Bell over Cinderella's castle comes up).

Also, last night we put on Star Wars for the first time in many months, and Catie recognized it -- from the other kids watching Weird Al's "Star Wars Cantina" parody video. She immediately began singing it.

And she's convinced that "Star Wars" is See Threepio's name. "Where is Star Wars going?"

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opus   

As I mentioned elsewhere, Renae is pregnant with our third child. We've been trying to explain Renae's pregnancy to Simon (our three-year-old), if only so that he understands why mommy doesn't always feel so good, or why she needs to lie down more often.

We told him that Renae had a baby in her tummy, and he became very interested in how the baby got in there. One morning, at breakfast, when Renae was eating, Simon became very concerned that she had eaten the baby in order to put it in her tummy. Which makes sense, because up until now, we've only told him that food goes in tummies.

Later, we tried to explain to him that the baby came from God. So then he asked if Jesus put the baby in mommy's tummy, which then evolved into the conclusion that Jesus helped daddy put the baby in the mommy's tummy. And I think that's pretty much where we left it, because we're not really sure where to go from there without getting into some really complicated territory.

Edited by opus

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SDG   

David John (13), this morning, during Saturday morning cartoons: "How many cat or penguin-shaped statues ARE there in the world, and when are people going to learn to stop displaying them in Gotham City?!"

Also, FWIW, recently I cribbed a bunch of the posts I've contributed here over the years and wrote up a blog post of stuff my kids have said. If you've read carefully over the years, most of it will be familiar.

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SDG wrote:

: Also, FWIW, recently I cribbed a bunch of the posts I've contributed here over the years and wrote up a blog post of stuff my kids have said. If you've read carefully over the years, most of it will be familiar.

Heh. I noticed that. And I couldn't help thinking that "Three. He was three." lacked the punch, the immediacy, of "Three. He's three." :)

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opus   

Simon: What does [indecipherable word] mean?

Renae: I can't understand what you said. Can you use it in a sentence?

Simon: Sentence? I don't know what that means.

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SDG   

Not my kid, but I just have to report this: My "Reel Faith" co-star's young son Brogan, who is about four, said to him, "Daddy, when I grow up I want to be like you ... a film critter."

Edited by SDG

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Thom   

Putting the boys to bed and my 6-yr-old says, "Dad, I love a lot but I am sorry, I love Jude [his brother] more."

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SDG   

Catie is two and a half, and talks about her dreams a lot in the morning when she wakes up. It's remarkable having this much insight into a two-year-old's dreams.

This is what she told Suz a few mornings ago. (She pronounced "ghosts" with two syllables, "ghost-es.")

"Sometimes ghostes take orangutans' bananas. And I was calling for you [suz]. That was in the movie, and I was in the movie!"

As she woke up more, she got clearer about it. This is what she said a few minutes later:

"The ghostes were taking the orangutans' bananas all day long. And the papa [orangutan] said, 'Hey, what are you doing taking our bananas? And they kept taking them and eating them. That was the dream. It wasn't real. It was just a dream."

Then a minute later, "Who had that dream? Was it Anna? David? James? Nathan?"

When I said "It was Catie!" she got a big smile and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot."

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Dad (while driving): Eric, when we get home it's time for bed.

Eric (3 years old): I'm not tired.

Dad: You got up real early this morning. It's time for bed.

Eric: I didn't get up early.

Dad: Yes you did.

Eric: I got up in the middle of the night!

Dad: Why did you get up in the middle of the night?

Eric: I'm nocturnal!

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A babysitting live tweet, featuring the musings of 2-year-old Charli:

Things the girl I am watching has called me: Eric, Lorlin, Juliet, Lulrin, Rollin'. #babysittinglivetweet

"This bug is so tiny! It's a baby!" "That's a bee. You shouldn't touch it." "Aw, baby bee."

"That bird is flowing slow." #futurepoetrymfa

"The suns are not sitting. The shades are sitting." #futurepoetrymfa

"Oh no! I got dress on my ice cream!"

"I'm gonna go scare the betterflies." #thebetterfliesismynewbandname

"Can I tackle you bigger and bigger?" #iwillstealtheselinesforpoetry

Edited by Lauren Wilford

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"The suns are not sitting. The shades are sitting." #futurepoetrymfa

See if you can say *that* ten times really fast.

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Thom   

My 6 yrold to my 8 yrold:"I wish I had an icicle bicycle. My but would be cold until my seat got warm...and then my seat would melt."

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SDG   

Catie (2 1/2), yelling and running into the kitchen: "My mouth has the hiccups!"

Edited by SDG

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opus   

Ian, who is 19 months, was making nonsensical sounds in the car when Simon loudly told him "God doesn't like it when you spit inside." Sadly, Simon doesn't yet seem to realize that God doesn't like it when he spits inside either, nor does mom and dad.

Simon has also informed us that he's "a little bit in charge" of Ian whenever we get a babysitter.

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SDG   

Five-year-old Nathan's assessment of Irene's status: "I think we passed the eyeball and are inside the nose."

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The deacon informed me today that he caught my daughter using the altar table (behind the iconostasis) as a "play kitchen". That's more of a "things kids DO" kind of thing, I guess, but still.

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opus   

Renae: "Why did you take your clothes off, Simon?"

Simon: "That's just what I do."

(We're having a big issue with Simon taking everything off except his underwear if his clothes get even the slightest bit wet or dirty. If we're eating dinner and he spills even a drop of water, we'll have a half-naked kid at the table for the remainder of the meal. It was kind funny at first, not so much anymore.)

-----

A little background: Ian's best friend is another toddler named Adeline. Renae and the boys got together with Adeline for playdates almost every week, and they saw each other in church all the time. A few days ago, Adeline and her parents moved to Germany so Adeline's dad could pursue his Ph.D. This morning, Renae is at a Bible study and overhears Simon telling the babysitter: "This is my best buddy, but Ian's best buddy isn't here. Bethany and Adeline live in Germany now." (Bethany is Adeline's mom.)

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opus   

First, some context: Renae's mom brought over some chrysalises so that the boys could see them turn into butterflies. One of them hatched this morning, and so we took it outside to let it go -- but the butterfly wasn't exactly cooperating.

Simon: "She's being difficult because she's a girl."

Later that same day, during naptime:

Simon, hearing Ian cry in his room: "Does the baby in your tummy cry?"

Renae: "No, the baby doesn't cry."

Simon: "Not even when you're bad parents?"

Renae: "When are we bad parents?"

Simon: "When you yell at us."

(Normally, guilt doesn't work on me, but that cut me to the quick because I had been pretty short with Simon earlier in the day.)

Edited by opus

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