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Guest Russell Lucas

Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs

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Guest Russell Lucas

Seen on the sign of a church in DuBois, PA this past weekend:

WARNING:

EXPOSURE TO THE SON MAY PREVENT BURNING

As you can imagine, there were crowds outside the door scratching to get in.

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Seen on a sign just north of Itasca, IL this week:

Give the devil an inch and he'll become a Ruler.

-s.


In an interstellar burst, I am back to save the Universe.

Filmsweep by Persona. 2013 Film Journal. IlPersona.

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Spotted on an Episcopal Church sign this afternoon:

Weather Forecast:

The Son is Risen

Hardly original, eh?


"D*** it sir, never say Commonwealth to me-

say EM-PAH!"

-An overenthusiastically Anglophilic Canadian general to an American

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Somewhere in rural Illinois:

Go to Hell?


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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Guest Russell Lucas

Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

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Hey! We've got that one here in rural Eastern PA too!

When I was attending my old church, I'd get a lot of e-mails from other kids in the youth group with these little "nuggets" and I always wondered which came first, the e-mail or the sign...


"It's a dangerous business going out your front door." -- J.R.R. Tolkien
"I want to believe in art-induced epiphanies." -- Josie
"I would never be dismissive of pop entertainment; it's much too serious a matter for that." -- NBooth

"If apologetics could prove God, I would lose all faith in Him." -- Josie

"What if--just what if--the very act of storytelling is itself redemptive? What if gathering up the scraps and fragments of a disordered life and binding them between the pages of a book in all of their fragmentary disorder is itself a gambit against that disorder?" -- NBooth

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Wow. That last one originated at just "God answers knee-mail". I guess they had to add "Not e-mail" because people weren't getting it. That's just sad.


P.S.  I COULD BE WRONG.

 

Takin' 'er easy for all you sinners at lookingcloser.org. Also abiding at Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

 

"Forget it, Jake. It's Funkytown."    

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Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

Does anyone actually "hear" email? (Outside of the few that have voice enhanced PCs/macs) That would be my first thought, saved or unsaved. I would think the church doesn't get it.


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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Seen at a Baptist church near my house:

SERVICES AT

9:30 EVERY

SUNDAY

Oh, sorry. That's not funny. Never mind.

Dale


Metalfoot on Emmanuel Shall Come to Thee's Noel: "...this album is...monotony...bland, tripy fare..."

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Okay. Finally saw something last night that I can contribute here, and yes, it was on a community church reader-board sign like all of the others...

The most important vitamin for a Christian is B1.


P.S.  I COULD BE WRONG.

 

Takin' 'er easy for all you sinners at lookingcloser.org. Also abiding at Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

 

"Forget it, Jake. It's Funkytown."    

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Guest Russell Lucas

Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

Does anyone actually "hear" email? (Outside of the few that have voice enhanced PCs/macs) That would be my first thought, saved or unsaved. I would think the church doesn't get it.

Yeah, it might have actually read "answers," as Jeffrey quoted. I was driving briskly.

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"THIS CHURCH IS PRAYER-CONDITIONED"

[groan]


"What matters are movies, not awards; experiences, not celebrations; the subjective power of individual critical points of view, not the declamatory compromises of consensus." - Richard Brody, "Godard's Surprise Win Is a Victory for Independent Cinema," The New Yorker

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Seen at a Baptist church near my house:

SERVICES AT

9:30 EVERY

SUNDAY

Oh, sorry.  That's not funny.  Never mind.

Dale

That is very "unfunny" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic. You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more "unfunny" than that. Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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Guest Russell Lucas

That is very \"unfunny\" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic.  You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more \"unfunny\" than that.  Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.

Sir, you are not the arbiter of what not is funny. It can get a whole lot less funny than that.

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Seen yesterday on a church sign in Langley, BC (on 200th Street, between the freeway and 72nd Avenue):

ANYONE CAN BE COOL BUT AWESOME TAKES PRACTICE

First, this is a debatable point. Second, what IS their point?


"Sympathy must precede belligerence. First I must understand the other, as it were, from the inside; then I can critique it from the outside. So many people skip right to the latter." -- Steven D. Greydanus
Now blogging at Patheos.com. I can also still be found at Facebook, Twitter and Flickr. See also my film journal.

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Hmm, an oblique in-reference to the theology contained in 'Our God is an Awesome God,' mayhap? (Ahh, who can forget such poetic lyrics as, 'When He rolls up his sleeves, He ain't just puttin' on the ritz'?)


To be an artist is never to avert one's eyes.
- Akira Kurosawa

http://secularcinephile.blogspot.com

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A church sign down the street reads, "Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am."


"It's a dangerous business going out your front door." -- J.R.R. Tolkien
"I want to believe in art-induced epiphanies." -- Josie
"I would never be dismissive of pop entertainment; it's much too serious a matter for that." -- NBooth

"If apologetics could prove God, I would lose all faith in Him." -- Josie

"What if--just what if--the very act of storytelling is itself redemptive? What if gathering up the scraps and fragments of a disordered life and binding them between the pages of a book in all of their fragmentary disorder is itself a gambit against that disorder?" -- NBooth

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That is very "unfunny" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic. You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more "unfunny" than that. Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.

Sir, you are not the arbiter of what not is funny. It can get a whole lot less funny than that.

Yes BUT it is still UNFUNNY!! This isn't the "unfunniest things found on a church sign" thread. It is, however, "unfunny things found on a church sign" thread and, begging your pardon sir, that was "unfunny."

Although I am uncertain as to what "arbiter of what not is funny" means.(?)


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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One of the church signs in Minnesota read, "This church is prayer conditioned." :roll:

-s.

Edited by stef

In an interstellar burst, I am back to save the Universe.

Filmsweep by Persona. 2013 Film Journal. IlPersona.

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Stef, that has already been said.


"...the vivid crossing of borders between film and theology may save the film from the banality of cinema and festival business, and it may also save the church from the deep sleep of the habitual and the always known."

(Hans Werner Dannowski)

Filmwell | Twitter

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OK, but was it from the same church sign in Minnesota?

I think not.

-s.


In an interstellar burst, I am back to save the Universe.

Filmsweep by Persona. 2013 Film Journal. IlPersona.

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A second sighting!! Oh, this is only proving the lack of originality among Christians or the idea that some kind of catch phrase will draw people in and lead them to the understanding of who God is and what he has done. Unless there is a book filled with these type of church sign catch phrase suggestions.


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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Well, now that you mention it: Forbidden Fruit Creates Many Jams, by Compton and Compton. A steal for $6.99 at Amazon.com

(Does this mean that this thread should now be moved to the "Literature" section of our board?)


To be an artist is never to avert one's eyes.
- Akira Kurosawa

http://secularcinephile.blogspot.com

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From the same church that gave us the cool/awesome thing:

TRY FAITH -- IT WILL GIVE YOU A CALMPLEX


"Sympathy must precede belligerence. First I must understand the other, as it were, from the inside; then I can critique it from the outside. So many people skip right to the latter." -- Steven D. Greydanus
Now blogging at Patheos.com. I can also still be found at Facebook, Twitter and Flickr. See also my film journal.

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hey, is that anything like a cineplex? or maybe I should say SINeplex!!


...the kind of film criticism we do. We are talking about life, and more than that the possibility of abundant life." -M.Leary

"Dad, how does she move in mysterious ways?"" -- Jude (my 5-year-old, after listening to Mysterious Ways)

[once upon a time known here as asher]

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