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Unfunny Things Seen on Church Signs

145 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post

Seen on the sign of a church in DuBois, PA this past weekend:

WARNING:

EXPOSURE TO THE SON MAY PREVENT BURNING

As you can imagine, there were crowds outside the door scratching to get in.

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Posted · Report post

Seen on a sign just north of Itasca, IL this week:

Give the devil an inch and he'll become a Ruler.

-s.

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Posted · Report post

Spotted on an Episcopal Church sign this afternoon:

Weather Forecast:

The Son is Risen

Hardly original, eh?

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Posted · Report post

Somewhere in rural Illinois:

Go to Hell?

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Posted · Report post

Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

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Posted · Report post

Hey! We've got that one here in rural Eastern PA too!

When I was attending my old church, I'd get a lot of e-mails from other kids in the youth group with these little "nuggets" and I always wondered which came first, the e-mail or the sign...

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Posted · Report post

Wow. That last one originated at just "God answers knee-mail". I guess they had to add "Not e-mail" because people weren't getting it. That's just sad.

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Posted · Report post

Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

Does anyone actually "hear" email? (Outside of the few that have voice enhanced PCs/macs) That would be my first thought, saved or unsaved. I would think the church doesn't get it.

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Posted · Report post

Seen at a Baptist church near my house:

SERVICES AT

9:30 EVERY

SUNDAY

Oh, sorry. That's not funny. Never mind.

Dale

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Posted · Report post

Okay. Finally saw something last night that I can contribute here, and yes, it was on a community church reader-board sign like all of the others...

The most important vitamin for a Christian is B1.

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Posted · Report post

Seen this past weekend in rural Western Pennsylvania:

GOD HEARS KNEE MAIL, NOT E-MAIL

Does anyone actually "hear" email? (Outside of the few that have voice enhanced PCs/macs) That would be my first thought, saved or unsaved. I would think the church doesn't get it.

Yeah, it might have actually read "answers," as Jeffrey quoted. I was driving briskly.

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Posted · Report post

"THIS CHURCH IS PRAYER-CONDITIONED"

[groan]

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Posted · Report post

Seen at a Baptist church near my house:

SERVICES AT

9:30 EVERY

SUNDAY

Oh, sorry.  That's not funny.  Never mind.

Dale

That is very "unfunny" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic. You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more "unfunny" than that. Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.

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Posted · Report post

That is very \"unfunny\" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic.  You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more \"unfunny\" than that.  Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.

Sir, you are not the arbiter of what not is funny. It can get a whole lot less funny than that.

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Posted · Report post

Seen yesterday on a church sign in Langley, BC (on 200th Street, between the freeway and 72nd Avenue):

ANYONE CAN BE COOL BUT AWESOME TAKES PRACTICE

First, this is a debatable point. Second, what IS their point?

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Posted · Report post

Hmm, an oblique in-reference to the theology contained in 'Our God is an Awesome God,' mayhap? (Ahh, who can forget such poetic lyrics as, 'When He rolls up his sleeves, He ain't just puttin' on the ritz'?)

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Posted · Report post

A church sign down the street reads, "Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am."

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Posted · Report post

That is very "unfunny" which actually seems to be most fitting for the title of this topic. You WIN!!

I quit because I do not believe I will see anything more "unfunny" than that. Truly, the rest of the posts are, at least, a bit funny.

Sir, you are not the arbiter of what not is funny. It can get a whole lot less funny than that.

Yes BUT it is still UNFUNNY!! This isn't the "unfunniest things found on a church sign" thread. It is, however, "unfunny things found on a church sign" thread and, begging your pardon sir, that was "unfunny."

Although I am uncertain as to what "arbiter of what not is funny" means.(?)

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Posted (edited) · Report post

One of the church signs in Minnesota read, "This church is prayer conditioned." :roll:

-s.

Edited by stef

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Posted · Report post

Stef, that has already been said.

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Posted · Report post

OK, but was it from the same church sign in Minnesota?

I think not.

-s.

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Posted · Report post

A second sighting!! Oh, this is only proving the lack of originality among Christians or the idea that some kind of catch phrase will draw people in and lead them to the understanding of who God is and what he has done. Unless there is a book filled with these type of church sign catch phrase suggestions.

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Posted · Report post

Well, now that you mention it: Forbidden Fruit Creates Many Jams, by Compton and Compton. A steal for $6.99 at Amazon.com

(Does this mean that this thread should now be moved to the "Literature" section of our board?)

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Posted · Report post

From the same church that gave us the cool/awesome thing:

TRY FAITH -- IT WILL GIVE YOU A CALMPLEX

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Posted · Report post

hey, is that anything like a cineplex? or maybe I should say SINeplex!!

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